It should have been there tucked between the discarded receipts and the lip gloss. She stirred around again. Pulled out an old grocery list, then a set of directions she had left herself on which bus to catch, but the torn corner of a lined page containing the phone number was missing. She removed her hand and dumped the contents of the bag onto the carpet. She unzipped and unloaded all the pockets. Then she spread it over the floor. No. No. Nothing. Think.

She retrieved her coat from the closet and rummaged in the pockets only to recover the five dollar bill which she had saved for an emergency. Such a small thing. How could she have lost it, that boy’s phone number. She had liked that boy, maybe could have loved that boy and she had thrown them apart. She had broken her promise. Never to explain, never to apologize. She lowered down to the carpet, rested her face against her knees and prayed that he had not been the boy for her.


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